Picking Bones In Lagos

The United Kingdom oil company Tullow Oil’s announcement of the discovery of more oil offshore in Ghana was reported on the Internet on Tuesday with the accompanying picture of a petroleum dispensing machine shaped like a book.

Where the title of the book would normally be, was the inscription “Black Gold” and below that, where you would expect to find the author’s name, was the inscription, “George Orwell.” Are you riding the drift, Jomo?

There was a great coincidence for me there, because last week, I was in Nigeria to check out Oga and how he has been spending the country’s oil cash.

Oh boy, you should see what oil money can do, or rather how dramatically the themes of George Orwell’s famous novel play out when it comes to spending oil money!

Before I proceed, Jomo, let me assure you that it was one trip that cost me tonnes of patience:
Being Boeing 737 series, Virgin Nigeria’s (VN’s) craft are some of the largest and most roomy air vessels flying the West Coast these days, and the airline’s on-flight services are not the very worst in the world. Did I really say that?

As a matter of fact, no cabin service on any airline in the aviation industry today could be any worse.

If we could fish out a word from the dictionary other than “appalling”, which is more aptly descriptive of Virgin Nigeria’s treatment of its passengers at airports, we would certainly be nearer the truth in providing prospective passengers of VN with accurate information about the airline.

If there is any airline which appears to be in passionate love with utter confusion, this is it, Jomo.

I do not have the foggiest idea why this is so. When our now defunct Ghana Airways was top of the aviation business in the sub-region, orchestrating the kind of confusion that made rank nonsense of flight manifests was one smart way of “manufacturing” stranded passengers, and getting them desperate enough to be willing to pay up bribes to airline staff.

I daresay such attempts at swindling travellers cannot be Virgin Nigeria’s motivation for its shabby treatment of passengers: With growing competition among airlines, no air traveller will part with even a cowry in bribes to any airline staff these days.

For no discernible reason, Virgin Nigeria delights in getting travellers to form winding queues at check-in, and then dragging passengers into and out of the queues with conflicting instructions: ‘Oga, leave di queue and come over here, now. Hey Oga, you should have been in di queue, now.’

Someone comes along and says: }All passengers travelling by Virgin Nigeria flight zero-zero-something, who have not yet checked in, hand your tickets over to me.’ The next thing you know, the chap has evaporated into thin oxygen.

Then he or she resurfaces and demands of those who handed him their tickets: ‘Hey, Oga, where is your ticket?’

All the while, other VN staff are running all over the place like headless chickens, and it is difficult to locate let alone identify who received what travelling document or issued what series of conflicting instructions.

Senior citizens, expectant mothers, women carrying infants and people with ailments who should not be exposed to such strain, were most likely the worst for wear.

On Tuesday April 29, Virgin Nigeria passengers bound for Abuja were left sitting in the belly of a Boeing 737 on the tarmac of Murtala Mohammed Airport for more than an hour after the scheduled departure time.

Why? The airport had been temporarily closed due to “diplomatic movements within the port”, whatever that means.

On Saturday, May 3, the plane carrying VN passengers bound for Lagos from Abuja was left sitting on the tarmac of the Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport for about an hour because a bag was missing and it was “against aviation security regulations to depart without locating a missing bag.”

Later on the same day, at Mohammed Murtala Airport, the very annoying ritual was played out yet again with passengers travelling to Accra from Lagos. Reason this time?

There had been a medical emergency which had to be dealt with before the plane could depart.

When you subject aged travellers and travellers with medical ailments to the ordeal Accra-bound passengers were put through that day, you are lucky indeed to have only one medical emergency on your hands, Jomo.

Anyhow, I was commenting on how Oga is spending the oil cash, wasn’t I? With the price of the precious fluid of industry and commerce now at an all-time high of US$120 per barrel, Nigeria is swimming in green bucks. It does not reflect in the quality of life of most Nigerians, though. There is the dicey rub.

Oil money has gone to build such a very beautiful city with magnificent infrastructure reminiscent of cities in Europe, but the federal capital, with its tower plazas, huge office complexes, world class hotels and wide, paved roads, is surrounded by depressed sprawling townships of “atakpame” houses, with rusty brown aluminium roofs. An aerial view emphasises the sharp contrast.

Only the rich live in Abuja. The city’s expensive residential areas are occupied by very top government officials and wealthy businessmen and women.

‘Oga, if you no get fifty million nail for bank, Abuja no be for you.’ The bloke, who told me that, was perhaps exaggerating, but it helps you catch the photo.

The vast majority of workers of the federal capital commute from the surrounding towns, some as far away from Abuja as 40 kilometres. Some workers told me the journey to the city and back home can be traumatic during rush hour traffic jams.

Nigerians are beginning to demand that every cent of the country’s oil money be accounted for. I listened with rapt attention to Nigerian Labour Congress President, Mr Abdulwaheed Ibrahim Omar read his May Day address in Abuja last week.

Omar said Nigeria’s workers would on Thursday, May 8, 2008, stage a phenomenal strike across the country to protest President Umar Musah Ya’adua’s failure to investigate allegations of corruption against the former president.

Omar’s exact words: “Workers will stage a strike across Nigeria next Thursday, to ensure that those who looted the country’s funds, whether in the oil sector, the power sector or any other sector, are prosecuted.”

I tell you, Jomo, a silent revolution toward accountability which is refreshingly devoid of political partisanship, is beginning on this continent, and with all the oil cash coming our way, I daresay I love it!