When it comes to lavish weddings, event planner Sasha Souza has seen it all: $25,000 cakes, a live performance by Tony Bennett and more caviar than most people could eat in a lifetime.

But in these somber economic times, more couples are saying “I don’t” to the kinds of affairs that will put them in a financial tailspin long after the last crystal candleholder has been unwrapped.

“People are often shocked by the cost of everything they need to create their big day,” says Souza, owner of Souza Events in northern California and author of Signature Sasha: Magnificent weddings by design.  “If you want a wedding that is customized and has little details, those details cost a lot of money.”

The average price of a wedding in the U.S. has dropped to an estimated $20,088 in 2010 from a lofty $28,732 in 2007, according to figures released by The Wedding Report. But the cost of saying “I do” can still take a love-struck couple by surprise.

“Unfortunately, wedding fantasies mostly translate into big costs, and even more unfortunately, the bride and groom start out their life as a married couple limited by the debt they accumulated in order to host the perfect wedding,” says Emma Lotto, creator and writer of the blog, Tightwad: A Girl’s Guide to Living on Less.

Before you rush to a chapel in Vegas, take heed:  you don’t need to be independently wealthy to throw a shindig worth remembering. “With the right level of creativity and resourcefulness, it really is possible to pull off a beautiful wedding for $3,000 despite the fact that the average wedding today costs around 10 times that,” says Linda Kevich, editor of SuperWeddings.com.

Here are 12 ways to enter wedded bliss without all the bills:

Start early. It’s easy to overpay when the wedding is six weeks away and you still haven’t found a dress or chosen a florist. While it’s true you can pull off a wedding in two months (or less!), give yourself six months to make thoughtful decisions to avoid buckling under pressure.

Get connected. Bridal forums can be your best bet for finding deals on everything from wedding attire to centerpieces. Check out Brides.com or find a blog that suits your style at BestBridalBlogs.com for helpful tips from brides who have been there.

Do-it-yourself (or enlist your artsy friends). If you’re crafty, now’s the time to put it to good use. Order your invitations online or make them yourself to cut costs. Don’t want to pay for a DJ? Make a custom playlist on your iPod and ask a friend to take the reigns (or better yet, hire an trustworthy teenager). Know a budding photographer or videographer? Ask to see their work and hire the best one you can reasonably afford; many up-and-coming photographers will offer their services at a fraction of the price in an effort to build their portfolios.

But don’t take DIY too far, warns Carolyn Fairley, certified wedding planner and owner of Premier Wedding and Event Planning in Pittsburgh. “If your party favors look like a third-grade art project, people will notice,” she says.

Be flexible. Consider tweaking your “vision” to get more bang for your buck. For instance, opting for a daytime reception will shave hundreds of dollars off your bar bill and quite likely lower your food costs, too.  If you insist on an evening reception, think about serving cocktails and hor d’oeuvres or having a stand-up reception with finger foods instead of a sit-down dinner.

Likewise, think about trimming your guest list. It’s one of the easiest ways to curb your overall expenses and makes for a more intimate affair. “If you wouldn’t invite them to Sunday dinner, they shouldn’t be on your list,” Souza says. Same goes for your bridal party, Souza says. The fewer bridal bouquets and thank-you gifts you need to buy, the better for your budget.

Forget Saturday in June. You’ll increase your bargaining power and reduce your reception hall costs if you opt for a less in-demand day and season, but be warned: the rest of your vendors may not lower their prices. Generally speaking, weddings outside “peak” season (spring and summer) are cheaper due to higher availability.

Negotiate. There is plenty of room to save money through simple negotiation, Kevich says. “Don’t be afraid to ask, but keep in reasonable,” she says. For instance, some vendors will agree to waive the sales tax if you offer to pay in cash. Bulk purchases also give you leverage. Everything from wedding invitations to the per-person cost of hair and makeup application are cheaper when purchased in bulk. The cardinal rule: just ask.

Read the fine print. Watch out for hidden charges buried in vendor contracts and be sure to ask specific questions about any extra charges that may apply because there usually are, warns Kevich. For instance, are chair covers included in the cost of your banquet hall? What about flatware and coat check? Do you have access to the entire venue for pictures, or is there an extra charge? Is there a minimum guest count? Ask for details before signing on the dotted line.

Watch out for the little costs that turn big. So you booked your hall, hired a caterer and nailed down a photographer. Now comes the little details that can cost a fortune. Ask yourself the following questions:

* How important is a champagne toast? Guests often skip the bubbly in favor of their own drink, Souza warns. Best to skip the Cristal and and let your guests raise their glasses with their preferred drink.

* Do you really need party favors, or would your money be better spent making a donation? (Hint: donations are usually much more cost effective and appreciated by guests.)

* Is the wedding cake worth it? If you don’t care about five tiers of frosting, then skip it and save a couple hundred bucks.  If it’s the photo op you’re after, rent a fake cake and serve sheet cake to the guests; nobody will ever know the difference.

* How ugly are the chairs without covers? If you can live with uncovered chairs, then do it. You’ll save anywhere between $4 to $10 per chair, plus service charges.

In the end, the old cliche is true: a wedding is just one day,  but a marriage (hopefully) lasts a lifetime. If you and your beloved can’t muster the enthusiasm for a your Big Day, then don’t. There’s always Vegas.